Mirror Image
by Starza
Summary: We are destined to watch everyone and everything fall... Friends, family, loved ones, whether by sword or by time, we can only sit back and watch them die... And yet, we will still live on, bound by our cruel fate... TirxRiou


**Title:** Mirror Image  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Paring:** Tir/Riou  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for both 'bad' endings to both Suikoden 1 and 2, angst/dark themes, mild lime hints, under aged drinking  
**Summary:**_'We are destined to watch everyone and everything fall... Friends, family, loved ones, whether by sword or by time, we can only sit back and watch them die... And yet, we will still live on, bound by our cruel fate...'_  
**Comments:** Written for 2006 yaoi challenge on LJ. I realized I never put this story anywhere, so might as well here. The writing isn't too bad, but the story should've been fleshed out a lot more. Again, was too pre-occupied with WoW to really notice.

Castle name Dynasty, since I could not find a default name for it, for the life of me.

_We are a lot alike, you and I…_

* * *

_I don't remember how long it's been. It seems like yesterday that I was in that familiar room, looking over reports, signing document after document that was in front of me. In my own way, I was trying to forget..._

* * *

Small smiles, simple handshakes, and simple greetings were what awaited anyone who visited Dynasty Castle. There were always people coming and going, from merchants to visitors to people on more official business. Even during the evening hours, the tavern was full of people's laughing and reminiscing, and it wasn't until near midnight when things finally would settle down for the day before picking right up again at first light.

It was during those hours that Riou enjoyed the most. Those few precious hours of peace and quiet, where he could close his eyes and picture the small little house back in Kyaro, the sister and best friend he once had, smiling and laughing together with him.

And then the dawn would come and Riou would find himself back in his small study in Dynasty Castle. Paperwork would need to be filled out. Guests would need to be welcomed and tended to. Officials from various places would want to discuss matters with him. Merchants would come and wish to discuss various issues, from opening up a store in the castle to establishing a trade route. The common folk would seek an audience with him, usually about some small affair that couldn't be solved unless a third party intervened. Shu would visit from time to time, asking if 'Lord Riou needed anything' and 'If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask', and the like. Then it would be night and Riou could close his eyes and remember that he was once just plain old 'Riou from Kyaro'.

Shaking his head, Riou dipped his quill in the small inkbottle on his desk and signed his name on what seemed to be the thirtieth paper he signed today. He placed it on the stack of papers on his right side and reached for the next paper in the left pile, his eyes glancing over the report. It seems that someone had gotten a little rowdy in the Tavern last night, breaking a few dishes and a chair in the process before a possible fight happened, and Leona was asking compensation for the broken items. Sighing softly and not quite understanding adults, Riou signed his name, put the report in the pile and reached for the next one.

More trade route requests. Dip and sign. A merchant wanting to open up shop in the castle. Dip and sign. Two neighbors in dispute over who owned what part of land, resulting in a few lost animals and a burned shed. Investigation underway. Dip and sign.

"Lord Riou?"

Riou almost jumped at the sound of his name before realizing only one familiar face visited him. "Yes, Shu?" Although he really didn't need to ask what Shu wanted, he always visited him and always asked nearly the same questions.

"Is everything in order?"

"Yes. I'm nearly done with today's reports."

Shu walked over to the desk, eying the reports and nodded. "There are a few people downstairs requesting your audience today."

_'As per usual,'_ Riou thought bitterly before nodding. "Let me just finish up the last of these reports and we can go to the audience room."

Shu nodded before taking the stake of papers while Riou went back to reading the last few reports. He managed to get through one before looking up into dark eyes. "Is something wrong, Shu?"

"You haven't touched your breakfast meal that someone brought up to you."

Riou looked at the now cold plate of eggs and toast and shrugged. "I didn't notice." He didn't manage to catch what Shu muttered under his breath. "It's not a big deal. I'll have something to eat later."

"Are you all right, Lord Riou?"

Riou knew this question was eventually coming. "I'm fine, Shu. I've just been busy and my mind has been wandering. It's nothing." Shu didn't look convinced and Riou knew that a chorus of 'I'm fine's wouldn't satisfy him. "Really, I'm all right, Shu. I'll stop by the kitchens before going to the audience room." He sighed when Shu's response was a frown. "I promise, okay?" When Shu nodded, he stood up from his chair and gave the report to Shu. "That's the last one. Shall we go to the audience room now?"

"Yes, Lord Riou," Shu answered. They walked in silence, giving a small nod to the occasional passerby. When they arrived at the enterance to the audience door, Shu suddenly stopped and turned to Riou. "Oh, and there will be a special guest coming tonight."

"Tonight? Who?"

"I cannot tell you. They wished to keep their identity a secret and only wished to see you in private. They said they would be waiting in your room come suppertime. I already informed the guards."

"I see," was all Riou answered before going in deep thought. 'No one usually visits here as a 'surprise'. Maybe it's an old comrade from the war who doesn't want people fawning all over them. That would make sense.'

"Lord Riou, we don't want to keep the people waiting. I will head down to the kitchen and bring you in something."

"Yes, all right, Shu," Riou answered, opening the door, still thinking about who tonight's visitor will be. He smiled and shook hands, trying to block out who the mysterious visitor could be...

* * *

_I should thank Shu for always caring after me after the war ended. He was the one who told you about me, wasn't he? I somehow knew. I wonder if he is upset at my decision. Or maybe he somehow knew that it would come to this..._

* * *

Riou quietly shut the door to his room, shaking his head. That matter took a lot longer than he expected it to. He rubbed his forehead, ignoring the rumbling of his stomach, knowing that it was well past dinner. All he wanted to do was sleep, but there were still some things to be done. Besides, he had skipped meals and some hours of sleep before, it wouldn't matter if he skipped them again today. If Nanami were there, she would've given him a good whack to the head.

_'But she's not here...'_ Riou thought, a bitter smiling on his lips. He could imagine the frown on her face, her hands on her hips, her scowling voice...

"So, this is what you're doing nowadays?"

Riou jumped at the sound of another's voice, instinctively positioning himself into a battle stance before forgetting he had put his tonfar away months ago. "Who's there?" He then remembered what Shu had told him about the visitor. "I can't see who you are, you know..." When the figure didn't move or answer, Riou reached for the lamp on his table. He fumbled around in the dark for a match. Lighting the lamp wasn't easy, and whoever else was in the room had no intention on helping him. Mumbling a curse that would cause Nanami to shove a bar of soap in his mouth, he finally managed to get a flame going, ready to give his 'midnight visitor' a piece of his mind...

But the words died on his lips. Everything about him was the same, from the red outfit to the green bandana. "...Tir?"

"I'm glad that your advisor kept his word," was the reply Riou received.

"Um, yes, he did tell me of a visitor, but he didn't mention who..." Riou was quite taken aback. Of all the people he had known and parted with, Tir McDohl was the farthest one down the list of possible people who would turn out to be his 'mysterious visitor'. Tir had accompanied him a short time through some of his missions and talked very little to him beyond small tidbits of advice and the occasional sparring match they had. Tir seemed friendly enough to him during that time, but somehow, he also seemed distant, sometimes, in his own little world, mumbling to himself, staring off into space.

_'But now, he seems... different.'_

"So, you're now the leader here?"

Nodding, Riou said, "Yes. I didn't want to, at first, but..."

"But?"

"But there was nothing else for me to do. And the people here needed me..." 'Not to mention it was a request from a dying man...'

"I see..." Tir answered, closing his eyes and smiling. "Not surprising..."

"What do you mean?" Riou asked, not liking the smile on Tir's lips.

Tir walked over to him, his eyes never wavering from Riou's. He reached out and touched Riou's gloved right hand. Riou flinched and quickly took his hand away. A quiet laugh escaped Tir's lips as he shook his head. "I figured as much..." He mumbled before taking his seat again in Riou's chair by the desk. "You should quit."

"Quit?"

"Yes, quit. Go back to your hometown. Travel the world. Go live with a friend or family. Do anything but stay here."

For some reason, that answer angered Riou. "Just quit? I can't do that! There's people here who need and depend on me! I already gave people my word! I can't just back out now! I thought you, of all people, would understand that!"

"I understand it better than you think..." Tir whispered, laughing again. "It's funny how life works. Adults depending on children to do their work, putting adult demands on them, having them make adult decisions, and then putting them into adult roles..." Tir shook his head when Riou frowned at him and rose from his seat again. He looked out the window. "I think... I will stay here for a few days."

"Why?"

"We are more alike than you think, Riou. There was a time where I was in your position, saying the exact same things, thinking the exact same thoughts, sharing the exact same emotions." Turning from the window, Tir walked up to Riou, his cold hard stare never changing. "Three days. If you wish for me to go, you may say the word and I will be gone. I will be in your training area tomorrow; I would like to spar with you once again. You can come or not, the choice is up to you."

The door opened and closed quietly, leaving Riou to wonder if what happened was all just a dream. Shaking his head, he fell on top of his bed, ignoring the fact that he was still in his formal clothes and that there was still forms he needed to fill out. All he wanted to do was sleep and forget.

Too bad his dreams wouldn't let him...

* * *

_I wasn't very happy about that first meeting that night. Asking me to quit so suddenly, but was I mad at you for demanding it out of the blue like that or at myself for making excuses for staying? Or maybe it was because I didn't know where to go? Our next meeting... changed me, I think._

* * *

_'I don't know why I'm doing this,'_ Riou thought, readying his tonfar. _'I have so much to do today and here I am, training... for what though?'_ His gaze fell on Tir, who had already entered a battle stance, his eyes holding the same distant coldness that they held the night before. _'I know you didn't come all this way to have a sparring match with me, so why...'_

"Come at me with all you have," Tir pronounced, his voice breaking through Riou's thoughts. As soon as Riou nodded his head, the other boy charged right at him.

Either Tir had improved dramatically or perhaps Riou was not as used to combat as he thought he would be over the past month. Riou knew that he was not nearly as good as he was before the war, but he never thought his skills deteriorated to such a level. Every strike from Tir was torture on his arms as he tried to bring his tonfar up to block. Every block made him flinch, causing him to take a step back. After about seven attempts to block Tir's attack, he found himself on the floor, gazing up at Tir, a staff pointed to his throat.

"I didn't think becoming the leader of a nation would have made you this soft."

Flushing slightly, Riou turned his eyes away. "I haven't practiced in several months."

The other boy laughed. "Do you really think that's the reason you lost?" Taking the staff away, Tir shook his head.

Riou glared at the older boy. "How would you know!?"

"Take a look at yourself and look what you've been doing to yourself alone. That's part of the reason. Neglecting your training is only part of the reason you lost, but that's only one small of the whole. As long as you don't look at the whole picture and only part of it, you won't come close to matching me, let alone win."

Red-faced, Riou stood back up, readying himself and charged at Tir. His attack was dodged completely, but it only fueled Riou to attack again. Attack after attack, Riou continuously swung his weapon, trying desperately to land at least one strike to prove Tir wrong. But try as he could, Tir was simply too fast and dodged each attack.

And once again, Riou found himself on the floor, his tonfar laying only a short distance away, panting from effort that gained him nothing. He knew if his sister had watched the fight, he would never hear the end of 'stupid reckless attacks' and 'letting anger fuel the fight'. Thinking about Nanami made his eyes water slightly. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his right hand. Now was not the time to cry, especially in front of...

"It's okay, you know..."

"What!?" Riou shouted, expecting Tir to look down in disgust at him or laugh at how stupid he must look. His anger started to fade though when Tir looked at him, neither disgust nor amusement present on his face.

"To grieve for lost ones. It's all right to cry for those gone..."

"Stop!" Riou yelled, not sure if he was yelling at Tir or yelling at himself. He shook his head, trying to banish the faces of those he once knew. "Please..."

"It's okay to cry for your sister and your friend..."

"How would you know what I'm feeling!?" Riou demanded, shakily rising to his feet. "How could you possibly understand what it's like to watch someone die in front of you or watch someone die in your arms!?"

"Because someone has died right in front of my eyes. And someone has died in my arms. And someone has died by my own hand." Tir shook his head. "Gremio, Ted, and my father, all gone." Touching his right hand, he added, "But they aren't fully gone. They never are. Sometimes, when I sleep, I can still hear their voices. Sometimes, they are simple memories. Sometimes, they are encouraging me to keep living day by day. Or sometimes, they blame me for what has happened, not being able to fully move on, but trapped forever within the Rune's Power."

"Tir, I..." Riou began, but the words stopped on his lips as Tir's gaze locked with his own.

"But it's okay, to think about them every now and then. To remember happier times. It's okay to cry for them, knowing that you will not see them again except in memory. It's okay, because we're still human and not invincible. It's not okay to use the past though to forget the present."

Riou didn't move or attempt to stop Tir from leaving the training hall after what he had said. _'I never really knew... I guess I'm just a child trying hard to pretend he is an adult...'_

This time, when the tears flowed freely, he made no attempt to stop them.

* * *

_Your words hit home that day. You were right; we were more alike than we thought. Not just because of our situations and the fact we both bear True Runes, but the way we communicated and the way we handled situations. How long has it been since you really sat down and talked to someone?_

* * *

Riou found no trace of Tir's presence for the rest of the day. He had no idea where Tir went, and perhaps it was well enough, as Tir only seemed to anger and upset him. The day went by as per usual, secluding himself in his office with reports, audiences during the afternoon and evening. Riou tried hard to put on a smile and keep himself relaxed, but he knew he had failed from the looks that Shu and some of the representatives have given him.

The next morning passed, and there was still no sign of Tir.

_'Maybe he left early because of what happened...'_ Riou thought as he finished the last report of the morning. '_Maybe he no longer felt welcome here because of what happened...'_ Riou didn't know if he felt relieved or a little sad. _'I wanted to find out more about him...'_

"That will be all for today, Lord Riou."

Confused, Riou looked at Shu. "There's no one in the audience room?"

"No," Shu said simply and smiled. "Take advantage of your time off, Lord Riou. It doesn't come often."

Stunned, Riou watched Shu leave the room. 'I can't believe there's no one to see me today...' Mumbling to himself, Riou opened the door...

And almost collided head first into the person who he had thought about only moments ago. "I thought you had already left..."

"I told you, three days, unless you said otherwise," Tir answered, sweeping past Riou and into his room.

Riou scowled at Tir's back, he could at least ask to come into his room in his castle. "I... wanted to ask you..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday and... It's just... I don't really know much about you or what happened to you. I mean, I know how you lead the Liberation Army and defeated the Scarlet Moon Empire, but..."

"So you want to hear my life story?"

The grin Tir gave Riou made him flush slightly. "I was just curious, that's all! If you don't want to talk about it..."

Tir nodded his head before motioning towards the door. "Come with me."

"Huh, where are we going?"

"You have a Tavern here, correct? I will tell you over something to eat and perhaps a drink."

"But... We're under aged..."

Laughing softly, Tir said, "Not adventurous?" When he received no response, he patted Riou on the shoulder. "I doubt Leona will let you order anything of the sort anyways. But at least we can have a bite to eat." He looked Riou over from head to toe and added, "You look as if you need it anyways."

Sighing, Riou followed the older boy out of the room.

* * *

_And so you told me everything about yourself. Your friend, Ted, and how he came to be one of the members of your household. Pahn and Cleo. And Gremio, your caretaker, whom you viewed as a second father. Your life growing up in Gregmister, joining the army, how you ended up with the rune on your hand, how you left your hometown, branded as traitors, how you met Flik and Viktor and ended up becoming the leader of the Liberation Army, the deaths of your loved ones and newly made friends alike. You were then offered to become president and accepted, but only after a few months, resigned and gave presidency over to Lepant and left Gregmister._

_You were right; we are so similar that it's scary._

_I suddenly found myself talking about myself and life in Kyaro with Nanami and Genkaku. About how I ended up joining the Unicorn Brigade with Jowy, to my own meeting with Flik and Viktor, to coming back to Kyaro and being branded as traitors, to witnessing the horrible events in Toto, to Jowy and I discovering the Rune, to the Muse encounter and Jowy's betrayal, to how I ended up as the leader of Dunan Unification Movement, as it was known now..._

_You listened to every word I had to say, not saying anything until I finished. I was glad to finally be able to talk to someone my own age and the anger and hostility I felt towards you before melted away. We continued to talk well after our plates were empty and continued to talk while walking up to my room._

_How you managed to sneak that bottle of wine upstairs, I won't know. I have a feeling a certain someone had a bad influence on you during your time in the Liberation army, but I held my tongue. The wine was sweet and soothing, and for the first time in months, I felt myself relaxing and talking more openly without thinking._

_I remember telling you faintly about the deaths of Nanami and Jowy and exactly why I took the position I was currently in. I remember telling you I promised not to let myself cry, as that would make everyone else upset and it would probably upset Nanami and Jowy if they were still alive. I found myself crying for the first time since Jowy had died. You just held me and let me cry, saying nothing. I'm glad for that, because if you had tried to whisper me reassurances then, I would have probably resented you for pitying me._

_I understood now why you had come to begin with. You didn't want to see me become what you could've become. It scared you to see me in the position I was in, and I understood why you were so bitter and angry during our first and second meeting. You never told me the reason directly for coming, but I know somehow that is the reason you came. Whether it was by request from Shu or not, I won't know. I don't think I want to know though, some things are better off not knowing._

_When the last tear dried on my cheek, you whispered..._

* * *

"Come with me."

Riou looked up into dark eyes, wondering if he heard Tir correctly. "What?"

"Leave here and come with me."

Laughing, Riou shook his head. "You know I can't do that..."

"Why?"

Pushing himself away, Riou sighed, knowing this is where their similarities ended. "I've already made the obligation here. If I left now, things could very well fall apart. Everything that I fought for would be for nothing and the deaths of Nanami and Jowy would be for nothing too."

"You don't know that for sure if you leave. Things may still be the same even if you left. Your advisor would never allow the country you worked so hard to build to fall apart."

"That may be so, but still... I can't leave all the work to Shu like that." Shaking his head, Riou continued, "I'd love to journey again and not be cooped up all day in the castle, but I can't."

He felt Tir's hand on top of his own and looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment in the other's eyes. "So you'll go back to the way you've been?"

"No, not completely. You opened my eyes a bit and brought something into a whole new light for me, and for that, I can't go back completely to how I was. But..."

"If you stay, you run the risk of making the same excuse to yourself over and over again. You'll trap yourself and you'll never leave."

"That's where you and I differ, then. We are a lot alike, but we're not exactly the same."

"I don't want to see you crushed by this though..."

The desperate tone in Tir's voice almost convinced him to change his mind. Almost. "I'm sorry..."

He felt his head being turned and looked into Tir's eyes. A finger caressed his cheek and Riou suddenly felt dizzy. He wanted to turn away and go to sleep, but somehow, he couldn't turn his head away. "Your eyes always seem to captivate me..." His cheeks flushed as Tir laughed at the comment, not realizing he said that out loud. _'Last time I'll drink again...'_ He found himself grinning and knew he must look like a fool now, but Tir said nothing and only returned the smile in return. _'Good, he looks better with a smile on his face... Is it just me or his face getting closer to mine...?'_

Riou was not in the least surprised when warm lips met his own...

* * *

_I can't really remember the night too well, but I know what had happened. I was sad and a bit hurt when I found myself alone the next morning and discovered you were gone. I had hoped you would stay, I was tempted to make the offer to you, but deep down, I know you wouldn't have accepted. I had a hard time adjusting back to my mundane schedule that I had known for months before you came. Three days, you managed to turn my life around._

_It's been five years since then. This morning, I had given my official resignation letter to Shu. I think he had known this day would eventually come, but I think he was prepared for my departure the day you came to Dynasty Castle._

_My bags are all packed now. I don't know where you are, but I have a feeling we will meet again. I have all the time in the world to look for you._


End file.
